First Time Mom Birth Anxiety: 5 Common Fears and What to Do About Them
Does the idea of giving birth to a live human baby scare the living crap out of you? 😅 Girl, you are not alone. If the thought of a tiny human bursting out of you like something from an Alien movie gives you goosebumps, get out a pen and paper, this is for you.
Birth anxiety is seriously common for first-time mamas, especially when so much feels unknown.
But here’s the truth: your body was made to do this - and the more you understand what's ahead, the more confident in your bad-assery you’ll feel walking into that birth space.
In this blog post, I’m going to show you that birth anxiety is completely normal and that the only way to get past this anxiety is to face it head-on!
I love this quote by BC Jett: "Life is full of obstacles. Seeing life as an obstacle course eliminates the obstacles and centers your focus on creatively finding a way under, over, around, or through them!”
Birth is no different. It’s just another one of life’s obstacles that, once you get through it, leaves you with one of life’s most incredible rewards… your new bundle of joy.
Let’s walk through the 5 most common fears first-time moms have and what to actually do about them so you can feel more chill, less stressed, and a lot more ready to rock your birth!
Fear #1: “What if I can't handle the pain?”
Girl, this is THE fear. Nobody wakes up like, “You know what sounds fun today? Contractions!”
Labor pain is real, but so is your strength. Your body knows exactly what to do, and you have more options than ever to manage your labor.
Here’s the thing - yes, it hurts. AND yes, you CAN handle it. Your body was built for this.
What to do:
Learn about all the pain relief goodies: epidurals, IV pain meds, nitrous oxide, breathing techniques, warm showers, birth balls - heck, bring snacks and mood lighting if it helps get you in the zone.
Check into natural comfort techniques: breathing, water immersion, the Bradley Method, relaxation techniques, hypnobirthing, movement, massage, and affirmations.
You’re not “weak” for getting pain meds, and you’re not “better” for going unmedicated. You’re a badass either way.
Pro tip: take a good birth class (like mine 😏) so you know what’s coming and how to handle it without panic-flailing.
Fear #2: “What if something goes wrong?”
This one keeps a lot of mamas up at night. And listen, I won't sugarcoat it - birth doesn’t always follow a script. But most births go just fine, and your team is trained for everything.
What to do:
Pick a provider who listens, explains stuff without the medical mumbo jumbo, and doesn't treat you like a chart.
Instead of spiraling about what might happen, focus on what you CAN control: knowledge, mindset, surrounding yourself with a supportive tribe, and snacks….lots and lots of snacks.
Repeat after me: “I don’t need a perfect birth. I need a safe, supported one.”
Fear #3: “What if I lose control and scream or poop or just … freak out?”
YES. This one. You’re worried you’ll go all exorcist in the delivery room and everyone will remember it forever.
Many first-time mamas worry about how they’ll act during labor, especially during intense moments. But giving birth isn’t about performing. It’s about being present, supported, and safe.
What to do:
Let go of the idea that you have to be cute, calm, and quiet. You’re birthing a human. If ever there's a time to be a wild tigress, it’s now.
Birth isn't about control - it's about support. Cry, scream, fart, drop “F” bombs.... Whatever it takes to get your baby out. You’re doing amazing.
Your team’s seen it ALL. No judgement. Seriously.
Fear #4: “What if I tear or need a C-section?”
Yep. That whole “my body may never be the same” thing? Big fear. Totally valid. Nobody wants stitches in their whoo-haa or surgery, and it’s normal to fear how your birth will affect your body. But knowledge = power.
What to do:
Educate yourself about what really helps reduce tearing (hint: not pushing like you’re trying to win a prize… it's more like pushing with positioning, warm compresses, perineal massage, and listening to your provider's cues.)
Know that C-sections are not a failure - they’re sometimes the best, safest choice. You’re still birthing like a boss.
Stock up on postpartum care stuff right meow: peri bottles, ice packs, witch hazel pads, stretchy mesh panties, and all the sitz baths. You’ll thank me later.
Fear #5: What if I don't know what to do?”
Totally normal. Most first-time mamas feel like they’re being thrown into the deep end without floaties. You’ve never done this before - how are you supposed to know what to do?!
You won’t. At first. But then you will. It’s a weird little magic trick that happens when your body kicks into labor, instincts take over, and then BOOM…. Baby’s out and you realize… “Wait. I did know what to do after all.”
This fear is rooted in the unknown, but here's the truth: You don't have to do it alone.
What to do:
Take a solid birth class, build your dream support team, and ask every single question - even the TMI ones. That's what I’m here for.
Lean on your support team: partner, doula, nurse, Google (in small doses 😅), and ME.
Trust your gut. Even if it’s covered in stretch marks and snack crumbs, it’s got good instincts.
And trust this: your instincts will kick in. Your baby doesn’t come with a manual, but you’ll figure it out - one diaper, one cry, one “what-the-heck-does-this-mean?” moment at a time.
And when in doubt: Google less, nap more.
You’re not expected to know it all. Just to show up, love that baby, and ask for help when you need it. (That’s real mom strength.)
Final Thoughts from Your Birth-Obsessed Bestie
Birth anxiety is real, but it doesn't have to steal your joy. The more you know, the more of a badass you’ll feel when the day comes.
And remember: You don’t need to be fearless to give birth. You just need to be prepared, supported, and a little bit stubborn. 😏
You’ve got this. I believe in you. Now let’s get prepped, pumped, and panic-free, okay?
If you’re a first-time mom looking for expert guidance, a calm space to ask your questions, and real talk from a labor nurse who’s seen it all, I’m here to help.
Ready to feel more prepared and less panicked? Let’s walk this journey together.
👉🏾 Want a free hospital bag checklist with stuff you’ll actually use? Grab it here!
👉🏾Need a birth class that doesn’t put you to sleep? I got you. Sign up here
👉🏾Follow me on IG for real talk about birth tips: @sacredjourneybirthandbeyond